Being Loving is a completely different thing

Many folks think that being Loving and being a pushover are the same thing.

But they aren’t. Being Loving doesn’t mean that you just let people walk all over you and be “nice” all the time – far from it. Being Loving means having boundaries, standing up for what you believe in and not letting people walk all over you.

There is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk. And it takes some time and some mistakes to understand the difference.

Being a Loving person doesn’t mean you are a wet noodle. It doesn’t mean you acquiesce to the demands of others. Love has many faces. Some of them are kindness, beauty, compassion and patience and sometimes the face of Love is bold, firm and brave. Every moment is different, but if you ask the question, “What would Love do now?” you’ll get the answer.

There are times when Love takes to the streets in protest. There are times when Love says, “this far and no further.” There are times when Love says, “I’m not going to let you treat me this way anymore.” And there are times when Love says, “Enough is enough!”

Many times we think that to be Loving means that we have to let other people walk all over us. And that’s just not true. I used to think that being Loving meant that I could never rock the boat. But I’ve come to understand that sometimes we HAVE to rock the boat in order to fulfill our purpose of being the Presence of Love on the planet.

Being Loving does not mean you are weak – au contraire! Being Loving means that you are STRONG! Strong in your conviction, strong in your compassion, strong in your vulnerability and strong in your forgiveness.

This is also not a hall pass to be a jerk! It’s actually a call to be strong – to stand up for what you believe in and to know that you are worthy of having the life that your heart desires. This is not at the expense of being mean to others, no, but it also is not at the expense of tolerating injustice and foul play.

We were sent to be the Presence of Love on the planet, with an open heart, with high standards and with infinite compassion. There is a balance between the stern and the soft, but know that far more than a wishbone, we simply just need a backbone!


There is Beauty & Grace in Every Loss

I believe that we have many different soul mates in each lifetime. And a soul mate doesn’t have to be just a lover.

Friends, family, pets – all these can be soul mates.

And specifically when it comes to romance, I also believe we have many different soul mates and each person’s path is utterly unique. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been born to learn, create and give to this world – that is between you and The Uni-verse. What I can say with 100% certainty is that the energy of Love never changes, though many times the face of Love does.

When we get hurt, it doesn’t matter what the hurt is or where it comes from; it’s natural to want to close off to shut down and to think that there is no way that the future could be better than the past. And if we don’t have a vision for a compelling future, then we start to slowly die. If you’ve lost someone that you love, just because you can’t see the horizon right now, doesn’t mean there isn’t a magical moment that is there for you, beginning with right now.

The story that we don’t think there will ever be anyone better is a very convenient story I see many people use as an excuse to shut down and not risk loving and, most importantly, hurting again. But we have to be open to let Love in, which means we also let in the pain. They go together. Being open to Love means we risk being open to pain. But the seeker on the Path doesn’t shut down knowing this – no, they open up and become even stronger! We are being called not to give up on Love, but give in to Love and become stronger by doing so.

If you’ve lost someone close to you, where is the gift in his or her death? What is he/she teaching you even now? And what new story would you like to tell to be open to love again? This is our Path and it’s beautiful, even with the pain. The pain helps us grow and it pushes us towards letting go and seeing even this moment as perfect. Below the anger, the sadness and the hurt – there is a quivering silent knowing that all is as it should be.

I have lost people close to me ; I’ve had friends abandon me and businesses fail.

But those moments do not define me. What defines me is what I do about those moments and choose to live my life in a way that honors those that have moved on. Know that rejection is redirection and see failures as the ultimate learning experiences. A moment of tragedy can happen and does happen to us, but the real tragedy isn’t what happened – the real tragedy is getting stuck in what happened and choosing to give up on life. Life, my friends, is for the living – we are here to shine, to give our gifts and to be the presence of Love on the planet.

No pain is greater than the Love that is within us – and when we tap into that, we will forever be connected to those that mean the most to us, whether they are with us or not.


There’s a recent study that came out from Harvard and Stanford that is pretty awesome.

It basically shows that small, incremental steps towards a goal are far more powerful at creating sustainable happiness than huge lofty goals. This breaks down into a simple idea that I first learned from Tony Robbins, which is that PROGRESS = HAPPINESS.

Simple progress.

Not huge lofty goals.

But progress.

That means – daily progress. It doesn’t have to be huge. It doesn’t have to be grand. Just simple daily progress.

I love this – because I believe in simple small acts of progress AND I believe in huge lofty goals. For a long time in my life, I was only SO focused on the huge lofty goals that I didn’t make small steps. And then there was also a time when I was SO focused on small steps that I had forgotten the huge lofty dream. And I believe we need both – a BIG dream and small achievable goals.

AND – I know I say this A LOT, but it still needs to be said… the goal and the dream if you want the power of The Uni-verse to support it, must be OF SERVICE and SOLVE OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS.

This is the key. But, you see – it’s very hard to solve “world peace” and much more manageable to think a peaceful thought. And guess what… world peace begins in your mind.

It’s the accumulation of many small steps that create movements, epic outcomes and grand ideas to come into manifestation.

So, put your lofty dreams on your vision board… but then ask – what is a SMALL STEP I can take in that direction? Instead of losing 100 pounds… can I lose 2? Instead of making 100,000 dollars, can I make $1000 more than I am now? Or $500? Because you need to pass $500 on the way to $1000 and $1000 on the way to $100,000. If you want to make peace in the world, can you start with your own mind and then your friends, family and community?

So Friends, please – always – dream lofty dreams. But let us GROUND those dreams, those goals and those desires in SERVICE to others and with one small step at a time.

What small step can you take today?


No one’s outside validation will ever quiet that subtle voice within you. Neither will delay.

Not listening to that voice only makes it that much louder.

Today, do not delay. Take action.

Know that in the realm of your dreams you are taking a leap a faith and by definition becoming vulnerable.

It takes courage to listen to your heart and then act in the real world. It takes a lot of courage to ignore people who say it can’t be done or family telling you to “get a job” or “do things like they’ve always been done”.

But, that’s what all the Great’s have done. Their self-opinion has been greater than the opinion of their family, tribe and culture. And they have been courageous to step out into the unknown, as vulnerable as lions amongst lions, but trusting in The Uni-verse.

You will be guided towards your ultimate destination. You will be provided for.

The Uni-verse WILL support you to fulfill your destiny because It made you to do so. But dreams are not found within the borders of conformity, but in the unknown and risky fields of your life’s adventure.

You were born with a potential within you, like a seed. Plant yourself firmly in the fertile soil of your faith and then water your potential daily with action. Do it NOW – no delay.

Life is far too short. Don’t hold back love. Don’t hold back your dreams.

Faith in your dreams plus persistent action in their direction moves mountains, seas and even the toughest, most impossible boundaries. Give to yourself a daily encouraging nudge to press on today.

We live in a vastly huge and infinite Uni-verse where quite literally anything is possible. The “status-quo” has believed some pretty funny things during humanity’s short time on this planet.

We’ve believed that: the Earth is flat, it’s impossible to break the sound barrier (and if you do, your face will rip off), that the Earth was the center of the Uni-verse (it’s not even the center of our solar system or Galaxy), that it’s impossible for anything made out of steel to float and that smoking cigarettes was actually good for you. Not that long ago it was ILLEGAL for African Americans and women to vote in the United States!

Now, hearing all these things in today’s world should sound ridiculous, because they are truly ridiculous. Now, imagine yourself 50 years from now looking back on today. Take the point of view of 50 years from now and look back. What things did you believe simply because “the status quo” was to think that way. What things did you think might be impossible for you that you now regret not doing? What did you really WISH you had done 50 years ago that it is now impossible for you to do?

What did you KNOW in your heart was true, but were too afraid to admit and pursue? What love did you miss out on? What crazy things did you believe back then that you would NEVER believe now?

Think about this for a moment…

Now… come back to present time. It’s no longer 2061, it’s 2011. What can you change about your life today with that perspective of 50 years from now? What crazy thing do you want to start believing in and what dream, goal or aspiration do you want to pursue?

What’s really important to you now vs. 10 minutes ago before you read this blog? What would you do differently looking back on your life 50 years from now?

Also, what would you BELIEVE in? Is there something you want to create, invent or do that seems silly or strange compared to today’s standards? If so, what did the world look like 50 years from now and does that really matter anymore?

Take the bird’s eye view on life. Know that not everything we believe to be true is actually true, just like the world being flat. Leave room for miracles, for another solution and most importantly, don’t stop following your heart or pursuing your dreams. Life is far too short. Don’t hold back love. Don’t hold back your dreams.

Step into your greatness, your vision and your Highest Potential. The momentary discomfort is worth the long term reward.

Focus on What You Want

Imagine the new possibilities in your life that would instantaneously show up if you got rid of all the stories about why you can’t live the life of your dreams right now.


If you stopped telling the story that you weren’t loveable – what would happen?


If you stopped telling the story that you aren’t enough as is – what would happen?


If you stopped telling the story that you don’t deserve prosperity, joy and true love – what would happen?


If you told a new story of self-worth, of self-acceptance and you actually believed in the core of your being that you are worthy of joy, a whole new world would be yours.


You would be able to focus on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. You would be able to reach out and ask for the things that you desire instead of feeling unworthy of their possession. You would be able to demand from The Uni-verse the love that you know you are worth by giving away even more of your love.


Question your stories! Ask yourself if they are really true and then turn around the answer. If you stories aren’t true, then what NEW stories could you begin telling about your life? And once you have a new story, you can take new action; and from the new action, a new life can begin to emerge.



Past is just a Past

Don’t let what happened in the past prevent you from living your greatest life. Limiting beliefs about “what happened” are a huge block towards manifesting your Highest Potential – but they don’t have to be.

The only thing we truly have control over in our lives is the MEANING we give the events of our life. We have very little control over our circumstances and the events of the world.

So the question remains. Do you want to meet the world as a victim or as an empowered creator?

A victim looks at the past and all the things that were “done to them” by “outside forces” and says “why me?”

The empowered co-creator of life looks at EVERYTHING from the past as lessons and as information. The empowered person takes note of the past and uses this new information to create a better future.

Unlike a victim, the empowered co-creator doesn’t say “why me?” to the Uni-verse, they say “try me!”