THE BLAME GAME !

Many times in relationships we love to blame the other person.

We like to blame them for not loving us the way we want to be loved, or for not making us enough of a priority, or for being too stubborn and on and on.

Then we start giving names to the way we interpret others actions. So instead of saying: “Hey, I’d really appreciate it if you let me figure it out on my own,” or “The way I really feel loved is when you (fill in the blank).” When we are lacking, we say: “You’re a jerk,” or assume that they don’t love us.

So instead of expressing how we feel, we blame, judge and then convict the other person of being guilty. Then we project our verdict onto them and wonder why they react negatively and then use that negative reaction as further proof that our verdict was in fact, correct.

Instead of blaming and judging, if we can open up, become vulnerable and EXPRESS our feelings and needs, we give the other person an opportunity to course correct with this new information.

And, if over time we are expressing our needs and feelings and they aren’t being seen, have the courage to pick up our things and leave. That’s the Master’s path – vulnerability and courage.

It might seem scary, but showing emotion and expressing your needs is how you build intimacy.And having high standards and the courage to maintain them is how you make sure that only the best kind of relationships remains in your life.

It’s the mark of a Master to no longer blame the other person, but instead to see the other person as a mirror of his or her own life. It’s the mark of a Master to share his or her feelings, rather than blaming someone else for not meeting the needs that were never expressed in the first place. It’s the mark of a Master who is strong enough to walk away from a broken and unfulfilled kind of love if his or her needs and emotions aren’t being seen. It’s the mark of a Master to be able to also meet the needs of their partner.

When you see the current relationships of your life as not a victim, but as a mirror of your own life, you can begin to take empowered action.

So, you say you want love, yes?

Then what are you gonna do today? Blame them? Or express yourself and set loving boundaries?

Do you want to keep going round in the dramatic circle of blame or do you want to step into the loving flow of vulnerable expression?

The choice is yours.

blame-game

Who AM I ?

We live in a society that does not celebrate or encourage us to be our true, fully expressed authentic selves.

When we’re growing up, most of us are trying our best to fit in.We are evolving mentally as a species not diminishing the tail per say.

But when we’ve grown up, many of us come to realize that we’ve changed ourselves so many times to fit how we want others to see us – so much so that we’ve completely lost touch with and forgotten who we are. This is what we call a quarter-life or mid-life crisis.

Who am I?

That is a wonderful question… Well, my friend, my question for you today is… is there a person inside of you that you are holding back? Is there a person inside of you that wasn’t allowed to come out and be seen when you were younger, or even still today? Is there a way of being that if you were to actually embrace and step into would totally upset the balance of your life at this moment? Is there a passionate, eager, yearning soul inside of you that is dying to come out? Let’s give that part of you a name.

What’s the name of this part of you? Giving it a name helps you get in touch with it.

This part of you was probably not allowed to come out as a child. It’s a part of you that doesn’t follow the rules, doesn’t draw within the lines, that likes to have fun, be passionate, take risks and step out into the unknown. This is your powerful Self, a higher version of you that is dying to be born. What’s its name?

Can we make a commitment to each other to let this part of our selves run the show? Can we step into more of our authentic selves? Can we die to our fears, self-judgment and doubts and just let our highest self shine? It might be weird, uncomfortable, not what the tribe wants, not what society wants, but what of it?

This part of you is the energetic, alive, thriving being that, when fully expressed and realized is your inner rockstar, your inner god or goddess, your unique expression to the world, and this part of you comes bearing gifts for the rest of us to receive.

This part of you, when allowed out, is what will help to change the world. When we give ourselves permission to be who we really are, magic happens. Not someday, not tomorrow, not next year – NOW!

Send your fear on vacation and let your highest self drive the ship! What new actions, decisions and changes would you make? What is life about for this highest version of yourself and where have you been settling in your life? Does this authentic version of yourself have a new standard, new promises and new commitments that it wants you to make? Is there a leap of faith that it’s calling you to take? Do you have the courage and passion to step into this version of yourself NOW?!?!

Who-Am-I

How people treat you defines them, how you respond defines you!

In every relationship it’s important to remember where resentment, anger and jealousy originate – within us.

We build walls, kill intimacy and keep love out by creating resentment within ourselves. And it’s only natural to project this resentment onto other people in our lives, especially those we hold dearest to our hearts.

But, our challenge is, time and time again, to come back to ourselves and see that we are 100% responsible for our emotions. It may seem, on the surface, like a totally natural and logical thing to blame others for how we feel. We believe that “they did” something “to us.” But see, the thing is, no matter what “they did” “to us”, it was always in the past. So, how we live NOW and in the future is in our hands. How do you want to interpret the events of the past? What meaning do you want to apply to the past?

Also, can we have the awareness to step outside ourselves and see how we are showing up in the relationships in our lives? What unexpressed feeling or emotion are we allowing to well up within us, slowly, day by day? Can we own that we are not keeping our side of the table clean?

We can’t take responsibility for other people’s action, but we are 100% responsible for our reaction to other people. Also, we cannot blame other people for us not keeping our side of the street clean.

Knowing that we have power on both sides of a transgression is a game changer because we see that we can begin to take responsibility for our lives, instead of just being at the whim or other people, places or situations.

How people treat you defines them, how you respond defines you. What happened is what happened. What you choose to do from here will determine the future.

In every moment, the choice is yours.

TreatOthersSm

Stay connected to who you are!

What does that mean?

It means to remember that at your center you are Love, abundance and joy. You have come here not to be needy and take, but to be full and give away to the world from that place of fullness.

When you remember who you are, the desire to chase, to grasp and to yearn stops. You remember that you are a child of The Uni-verse and were created to fulfill a very special purpose.

You remember that one of the great promises of Life is that you will be provided for as you walk along the path of your dreams. The fearful mind calms and the mind full of Faith emerges.

You remember that you are enough as you are and that nothing can prove otherwise, other than your own admission that you are less than who you really are.

When you remember who you really are, you surround yourself with loving people. You bask in the fellowship of Love and no longer accept or tolerate abuse and hate.

You pull back from judging others and instead keep your eyes on Love and purifying your own desires and intentions.

You line up your thoughts with Love and then the actions and the fruits of Love naturally follow. You let go of the need to control and let The Uni-verse fill in the gaps, because The Uni-verse is very intelligent and knows what you need even more than you do.

When you remember who you really are, you Love yourself and your Creator enough to take care of your body with healthy foods, exercise, yoga and breath. You Love your mind enough to not let it run the show, and instead make time for meditation to calm it down so your Love and Spirit shine through.

When you remember who you are, you embrace challenge and catastrophe with acceptance rather than disdain. You know that with the Light comes the Dark and that both are needed in the dance of Life.

When you remember who you are, you are attractive to those who believe what you believe. You don’t see rejection as bad, but rather as a sorting device keeping unhealthy matches away from you. You naturally and effortlessly find Love because you already embody It.

When you remember who you are, life ceases to become difficult and transforms into an adventure you can’t wait to take.

When you remember who you are, you live your life following your Heart so that when you get to the end, you say: “What a ride!” instead of wondering, “What if I had…?”

Remember who you are today and all this & more will be yours.

inner soul