Shattered Dreams Have The Power To Change Our Lives For Good

“Everyone needs wishes and dreams, because the bridge you build between them and reality is your life.” – Marilyn Bagel

Many people are afraid to dream, either they simply don’t know how to, or more often because they are mired in only knowing how to color within their comfortable world-view box. So many of us are afraid to color outside our limited lines. Sometimes the fear of failure and imagined pain keeps an individual from reaching higher. So, many people don’t dare to dream!

Many walking wounded have walked through my psychotherapy doors in pain, hopeless, and hurt. Often, life has dealt them a harsh blow and their ache from something they wanted that went awry has resulted in a sense of helpless defeat. Then there are others who have reached too high without laying the necessary groundwork and planning the requisite steps to get where they want to go. They come bringing shattered dreams with little sense that a better outcome is possible.

One dream may die, only to be replaced with different dreams holding deeper appreciation and greater joy. The journey, though, is not without times of despair, eventually to be replaced with hope.

A less threatening and often more realistic way to follow your dream is something I call “The Three Bears Rule.” Finding the right balance between too little, too much, and one that is just right is a process that entails the ability to be both focused and flexible. Focus keeps your eye on the goal. Flexibility allows you to let in new potentially useful information, to try new ways of being, and to let go of emotional and pragmatic tools that simply don’t work. It also allows that magical “aha” moment when an idea suddenly takes a new shape and answers seem to appear from out of the blue. This is rarely an easy balance, and few are prepared for it without flips, flops, and failures along the way.

Those in creative fields tend to be our most imaginative and frequently leading-edge dreamers. They do dare where others fear to tread. The most productive of these dreamers are often born with and/or given the opportunity to create without being stifled. Not only do they have talent, but also they usually score high on a measurable scale with a quality known as Emotional Intelligence, what we loosely term intuition or a sixth sense. More pragmatic types such as scientists can also dream big. However, they tend to follow their dreams in a more logical, systematic, and goal-oriented fashion.

Whatever type or combination you may be, it’s always a mix of luck, timing, ability, and the discipline to practice as a great athlete, dancer or musician must to achieve one’s dream.

Ah, but, as Shakespeare might say, “There’s the rub.” Life is not linear and neither is the achievement of dreams. Anyone who has tried to dream beyond their current status knows they risk physical and emotional injuries. Frequently one feels like a small sailboat tossed by turbulent waves. Yes, we often get “seasick” when we follow our dreams. Shattered dreams happen every day in everyone’s real world. At the end I will list some ways to go beyond enduring pain, growing, and, in fact, learning to thrive.

A few exceptional people are akin to Cervantes’ Don Quixote or Voltaire’s Candide who live for their dreams and, a sin the latter’s case, are carried by an eternal optimism that whatever happens “this is the best of all possible worlds.” We humans embrace this sense of a hopeful dream. That’s why the varied, eternal productions of Man of La Mancha are sure to be available in a play, ballet, opera, or some other creative art form in a theater near you at several points in your life.

What is a shattered dream? It isn’t always not flying to the moon or not winning a Nobel Prize. In the world of the mundane, most of us fall short of expectations daily. Our positive attitude, how we “roll with the punches,” makes all the difference.

  1. Perhaps we didn’t get the “A” we anticipated.
  2. Or, we didn’t get selected to be on the baseball team we always dreamed of playing for.
  3. Or, the marriage we anticipated holding for “better or worse” forever didn’t last.
  4. Possibly we became a caregiver and gave up our own desires for someone we loved, as illness took over our life.
  5. Our child became a drug addict, not the star we raised her to be.

The list is endless. Yet, we can reframe our expectations and a cathartic change can occur. In that change we may find greater joy in small accomplishments or in a transformational love that we never dreamed possible.

Shattered dreams are never fun and always require time to heal and the ability to morph into what will be. In fact, many believe the very act of dreaming during sleep is one way we stay balanced and heal. Old dreams may die. New ones can always emerge. One only needs to believe they can succeed.

Dr. Dorree Lynn

Used by permission from Life’s Journey Magazine

Dr. Dorree Lynn is a well-respected psychotherapist, mentor, consultant, life coach, author, educator and workshop presenter. Her lectures are peppered with humor and salted with wisdom. She is available for presentations. Dr. Dorree can be contacted at: DrDorree.com

 

 

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IMAGI-NATION

Have you ever wondered how children can sit through replay after replay of their favorite Lion King or Little Mermaid video? It amazes me that they’ll voluntarily watch the same show every day without a single complaint or request for something new.

What’s more amazing, though, is that adults do the very same thing with their days.

The majority of men and women play “movies” in their heads again and again, relentlessly focusing on the review of past events, most of which are unpleasant and disturbing experiences that have come their way.

If they’re actually able to stop their contemplation of past events, they allow impressions of their current surroundings and results to govern their lives. And, once in a while for variety’s sake, they’ll contemplate the future by either worrying about it, or daydreaming and wishing that something better might come along. And then they wonder why bad things keep happening to them, or why they never rise above the issues and obstacles in their lives.

Frankly, they would be better off watching The Lion King 40 times a day – because at least then, they’d be immersed in a creative and upbeat, positive process. See, most people have never learned how to “program” creative and upbeat “movies” in their heads because they’ve never been taught the value of creative visioning and purposeful thinking.

If you doubt me, listen to the varied conversations going on around you. Sadly enough, I can readily predict that you’ll hear a Dante’s nightmare of disconnected thoughts with very little effort put forth in carrying on a purposeful (much less positively-minded) conversation. While it is true that people are free to think anything they please, as long as they remain set in their ways, there is very little that can be done to change the unpleasant experiences that keep cropping up in their lives.

There is, however, a strong movement that is stirring the multitudes into a new conception of living. The study of the mind – and its veritable unearthly power – is at last taking its proper place in modern civilization. Proper use of the mind and its various faculties will give you anything you choose – but the emphasis here is on the word “proper.” To move in this favored direction requires study and focused, consistent effort … with a good measure of creative juices stirred in.

In the classic movie, Miracle on 34th Street, Kris Kringle tells young Susie Walker she can become whatever she chooses through the aid of her imagination. Kris went on to explain, the “Imagi-Nation” is a place we can all go … just like the British nation or the French Nation.

Although this may seem a cute line from a movie, it’s also a very healthy way to view the imagination.

Your mind is a place you can purposely go to. And FREE WILL is your passport. No one is ever refused entry. There are no borders or limits put on the size of what can be built. And best of all, it’s a universal nation that allows all of us citizenry!

Just as the oak tree develops from the gene that lies within the acorn, and a bird develops from the gene that lies asleep in the egg, so too will your achievements grow from the organized plans that first begin with your imagination. An image in your mind is the first stage of the creative process in life. From your imagination your visions and plans arise.

In his bestselling book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill wrote, “You will never have a definite purpose in life; you will never have self-confidence; you will never have initiative and leadership unless you first create these qualities in your imagination and see yourself in possession of them.” He went on to say that, “… imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.”

Now, let’s use our imagination and start to build a picture. I want to introduce you to an interesting concept that I have taught in my seminars for years. If you grasp this concept to the fullest, you can BE, HAVE or DO anything your heart desires … and I mean anything.

I want to talk about Fantasy – Theory – Fact. The premise underlying this concept is that everything has its origination in the form of Fantasy, which some adventurous soul dared turn into a theory and then became bold enough to turn into a fact. The entire transition, of course, is the result of the highest form of positive thinking, concentration and what could very easily be construed as erratic behavior.

Give this serious thought for a moment. The idea of moon landings, communicating by email, traveling on jets, cellular phones or wearing synthetic garments was, a very short time ago, sheer fantasy. Today, they are considered commonplace. How did that happen? Well let’s take a few moments and give it some thought.

This entire cosmos is filled with thought stuff – a creative form of energy. Your marvelous mind has factors that you can, with little effort, develop to use to improve the quality of life, not just for yourself, but for human kind. Imagination is one of those creative faculties.

The individuals who were responsible for the conception and creation of the email, cell phones and any of the thousands of modern conveniences we enjoy today had a highly developed imagination. Furthermore, they were not easily influenced by the opinions of the masses, the naysayers who historically have criticized and ridiculed anything they do not understand. These pioneers used their mental faculties to fantasize, to build wild and wonderful pictures in their mind. Then, holding their thought with their will, they began to watch their fantasy unfold into a theory and then into fact. They seemed to have an innate awareness that if they could visualize it, they could do it.

Hence, the fantasy was turned into a theory followed by thoughts of how they could, not why they couldn’t. That is how we got out of the cave and into the condominium.

Let your mind play. Fantasize a much better form of life than you presently enjoy. Try it – you’ll like it! Draft your future with imagination, ponder and calculate with intelligence and awareness, then knit it carefully with care.

Your mental growth or development will determine what the future holds for you. Go to your mental nation and build a beautiful picture of where you want to find yourself one year from today. Then, devise paths and find tools to help get you there.

A few ideas:

  • Design an effective program for your own personal development.
  • Build a worthwhile library.
  • Make a list of 12 good books you will read and refer to – one each month.
  • Select programs that will help you understand the awesome powers you possess and how to utilize those powers in practical ways to improve the quality of your life.
  • Commit to reaching new goals. The only barrier separating you from your goal is ignorance – ignorance of how simple … and simply powerful … your mind really is.
  • Replace the ignorance with knowledge. And replace your old movies with the movies you’ve always wanted to write – they’re there, just waiting for you in your Imagi-Nation.

Use your imagination.

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Rafting through life

Have you ever had one of those days, or weeks, or months, or years, where everything you do seems to not work out as you expected? You lay your plans and try to implement them, and for some reason, no matter where you turn, it all falls apart.

I’ve had a few months like that, where it seemed that all the things I was carefully putting together were unraveling. As annoying as it’s been, it’s reminded me that control is just an illusion and that regardless of the best-laid plans, life will do what it wants.

I like to think of life as similar to riding down a river in a raft without a paddle! When things are good my raft is in the middle of the river, floating quickly and smoothly towards my destination. However, for no apparent reason the river may suddenly push it towards the edge, where the trees overhang and the rocks are plentiful.

As my raft continues to move, the low-hanging branches knock me around, we bang into rocks, and all I can do is hang on and try to stay in the boat. At other times my raft and I may end up in an eddy, where we go around in circles and I feel quite stuck. Occasionally the raft and I may actually go over the falls and I might be thrown into the water. When this happens my job is to remember to breathe as I attempt to get to the surface and climb back into the raft.

Whether my raft is floating effortlessly down the middle of the river, or headed for the falls, is often out of my control. My job is to continue to hang on, make sure I’ve done all I can (like wear a life jacket and tie everything down), stay with the raft at all costs, and know that eventually the situation will change.

This is what I’ve been focusing on these past several days, and as I move into a new week I can already feel my raft coming out of the eddy and once again moving smoothly down the river.

As much as I’d like to think things happen in my time, I‘m reminded once again that everything has its own time. So I have faith that the eventual outcome will be what I need, and persistence and tenacity are what will get me there.

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Not Seeing What’s Right in Front of Your Eyes

It all started this morning , when I started my search for my i-phone. I searched for almost 30 minutes and then I realised that it had camouflaged itself on the bed-sheet, the same bed where I was sitting , and I came to realise that we at time do not use our “real eyes” and are often blindfolded from the truth where what’s in front of us is not seen due to lack of perception.

Some things are too sensitive to be discussed. No wants to talk about the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room, as the saying goes. The ‘gorilla’ could be a problem that causes defensiveness or embarrassment or something so potent that to acknowledge its presence is dangerous to yourself or the group. So there is the looking away, the pretending that it isn’t there. No one talks about the real problem, the eight-hundred pound gorilla. It is the unspoken presence.

The phrase “eight hundred pound gorilla” (or the six hundred and nine hundred pound variations) refers to something that everyone knows about and refuses to comment upon. But what if it weren’t figurative but a real gorilla in the room? Is it possible that while in the room it won’t be seen?

For example, if you are the beach and someone is drowning nearby, if you have your earbuds in and are engrossed in your book so that you don’t either hear or see the person, you can’t be judged immoral for not responding to the cries for help.

There was an experiment done by a professor in a psychology class

“So let’s end the class with something fun,” He said. He then showed them the following video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

What they watched was the Chabris and Simons demonstration in which two teams, one in white shirts and the other in black shirts, pass a basketball back and forth. Viewers are instructed to count the number of passes made by the white-shirt team. My students, mostly working adults taking the nighttime class, diligently counted the passes and reported the results. Nearly all were right.

“Did you notice anything else?” He asked.

About half said they saw a gorilla walk across the court. The other half was incredulous, including one who was a surgeon and chief of a volunteer fire department. He then showed them the rest of the video. And sure enough there was a woman dressed in a gorilla suit who walks amongst the teams, thumps her chest and walks off camera, in view for 10 seconds.

That’s right, a gorilla in front of their eyes and half the class didn’t see it! This was consistent with other findings. Thousands have watched this video and about half don’t notice the gorilla.

In summarising the Chambris and Simons findings, Daniel Kahneman, in Thinking, Fast and Slow, says that those who fail to see the gorilla are initially sure it wasn’t there—as were my students. “The gorilla study illustrates two important facts about our minds: we can be blind to the obvious, and we also blind to our blindness.”

When we focus intently on one thing, we don’t see other things. This helps get the immediate task done but can also be a severe limitation. Real gorillas in real rooms are dangerous.

 

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What is the Third Eye?

third eyeThe third eye is the ability to see what might be: In other words the third eye is our ability to see potential.

It’s a sense and it can be developed to be more refined and accurate than only being a hunch.

The Third Eye is a natural part of every person, but it’s a “meta” organ. In other words: it consists of all the senses and mind working together as a larger more powerful sensory organ. The Third Eye is a very clever bit of natural evolution: a meta organ designed to sense, connect to patterns and then relay that data back in overlays of information on top of your other senses.

Once opened it’s a very powerful ability, powerful enough that it literally can drive people insane if not understood, accepted or developed correctly. Also due to lack of understanding more people than not mislabel, run away from the ability or take it to strange descriptions… which further muck and murk the waters of what the Third Eye truly is.

The Third Eye as a sense can be used in many different ways. It opens up our senses to patterns around us. It’s used by seers to make connections and answer questions. It’s used by energy workers to feel the energy and then manipulate that energy. It’s part of empathy where a person can touch and feel the emotions of others. Many other examples exist for how people use the Third Eye.

 

The Third Eye and Energy Work

Let’s look at one use. It’s possible to use the Third Eye to learn how to sense and visually interpret energy around us. This helps people work with the process of Motion, Activity and Interchange more easily and completely. Energy instead of being abstract concept then becomes a tangible property of life to work with once you learn how to sense it and interact with it.

Does a Taoist / Shaman really see energy? Not directly. Anyone can see the end results of energy in action, seeing energy directly is another thing all together. However, the Third Eye can develop the ability to process information and then overlay that information over our other senses in such a way we can then interpret and interact with energy in a more precise manner. In this way, we can “see” energy.

third eye openingThis can appear as being a mystical power due to the relative nature of the skill. But it’s a very real and tangible skill.

Some people do take this and go too far, make it fantasy. So you do need to be careful with people saying they are energy workers. Another problem is the relative nature of the skill. What one energy worker will sense, is different than another energy worker. Some commonalities exist. We are human, and our form, our shape help push us towards common baselines. However, the unique experiences and nature of each person also ensures that each energy worker will see things from a different angle.

Lets use Aura’s as an example.

Some people do see an “aura” or “light”. With training many people can be taught how to view aura’s in a “standard way”.

However: it’s not what most people think it is. Your eyes only “see” what they are designed to see. But the mind can overlay additional information over each sense. Auras are such an information overlay.

The brain has the ability to process visual information, and it has the ability to use all that circuitry to pump back information in the form of visual response: which doesn’t have to be from the eyes.

Your whole neural network, your mind and sense organs form a larger more sensitive “antenna” to pick up on energy and patterns. The mind then has the problem of how to send that information back to you. It has to use what it already has access to: the 5 normal senses. For example: at times in energy work, it can send back the images for you as an “aura” to then interpret. In reality what you are seeing is slightly different than that: but it’s the best method the “third eye” has to relay the information back to you. This becomes the “aura” as the translated result.

 

Developing the Third Eye

Because so much of this depends on your ability to interpret the results: this creates lots of room for mis-translation between the “facts” and what your third eye returns to you. Also because we see things differently, it can be problematic to exchange the information back and forth between each other in a clear fashion. This opens up quite a bit of room for mystical practices to open up within. Some truly work, others which might vary from person to person in how they tune the 3rd Eye sense, and others such as tricksters to use for deception.

Taoist/Shamanic practice has quite a bit of training regarding how to use and work with the Third Eye. It’s a real sense, but it’s a “meta” sense and it must be “used and tuned” in order to be developed, rather than it being something that just works out of the box of birth.

As a Taoist I have been developing my third eye since I was 5 or 6 years old and had my first vision. When I shared my first vision, I discover immediately, most people don’t see the world in this fashion. Even worse, I was persecuted when sharing this ability. Being so young, I quickly learned to keep it to myself and explore it silently and patiently on my own terms. Until recently I haven’t opened up on this part of my Taoist practice, on purpose, since it’s so easily mis-understood and so many misconceptions exist about this ability.

I have spent 35 years exploring this ability, reviewing materials, and using my background in both Taoism and the sciences to understand it. I have now placed the 3rd Eye into terms which can be acceptable to most everyone. So hence, I am now sharing it in my teachings.

Many people naturally suppress this ability to prevent it from hurting them, to prevent others from making fun of them or labeling them as crazy. With enough suppression any ability goes away. The Third Eye must be used in order for it work. Also how one uses the Third Eye will shape the abilities and capabilities of what it will be able to sense. For all of these reasons and more, this why the Third Eye is such a mysterious ability.
Many different cultures use many varied techniques to develop this skill. Taoists are very patient, taking decades in order to refine and define this ability. The nature of the interpretive aspects of this ability means experience helps improve this ability and it’s a slow process to master.

 

 

– Excerpt from http://personaltao.com/

Despite the fact that I spent my childhood in Rameswaram – Dr A.P.J Abdul Kalam

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“Despite the fact that I spent my childhood in Rameswaram, an isolated island in the south of India, I could get educated, find a job and overcome many obstacles to become the President of my country. If I could overcome all the hardships and achieve what I have, so can you or anyone else. It does not matter where you start from or what you have achieved till date, the important thing is that from this point onwards, you decide what you want and work towards creating your own future. This is the message I want to convey through this book and if it can inspire even one young person to achieve his or her dream, I will feel that my effort has been truly worth it.

In the last fifteen years I have interacted with more than 16 million youth, in face-to face meetings, through emails and over Facebook, and wherever I go I am asked questions. Everyday I receive about 300 emails and spend two hours reading and answering them. This book is based on the questions that I have been asked over the years. In their questions, people are mostly seeking solutions to problems that they are facing in their lives. Answering these questions, I realized that what we call problems may probably be a result of the way we ‘process’ events and situations in our lives and everything that happens in our world. ‘Process’ means the way we perceive and think about them. If we could change the way we ‘process’, then we could possibly change the way we think about our problems and hence also about their solutions. I believe it is possible to do so and that is the underlying theme in my answers.

My answers are based on what I have learnt from my own experiences of life, and from reading books and my interactions with political and spiritual leaders. The replies in my book are presented in a way that they provide a generic message for any one who may be undergoing a similar problem in his or her life.

Your life should be a manifestation of your dreams. That is why I always call upon the youth to dream lofty dreams and invoke in them a vision of their future. And in achieving your dreams, you are bound to face difficulties and obstacles, but with determination and discipline you can always overcome them, just as I have been able to do.” -From the Introduction of the book

It is remarkable that how, APJ Abdul Kalam, the 11th president of India continues to be such a popular public figure even seven years after demitting office. Much sought, much admired, he is an inspiration for the Indian youth and they turn to him for advice, guidance, inspiration, or simply just seeking to be in touch with him. The mentoring, the solutions, the direction, the philosophy he provides are based on the wisdom of his own experiences, as he knows well the trials and tribulations of the hard rocky road of life that he has walked from Rameswaram to the Rashtrapati Bhawan. This book is like a roadmap for life which one can to turn to when needed, and come away reassured that there is always a way out of any situation and that we will be able reach our dream destination. Inspiring and intimate, it provides an insight into the mind and heart of one of the most remarkable leaders of contemporary India. A leader, who at the age of 84 continues to inspire young Indians towards living the life of their dreams.

 

– Amazon , on Dr A.P.J Abdul Kalam’s New Upcoming Book.

 

You Can Pre Order Your Book of Dr A.P.J Abdul Kalam Online on Amazon on the given link Below :

 

http://www.amazon.in/gp/product/9350642794/ref=amb_link_183049087_3?pf_rd_m=A1VBAL9TL5WCBF&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=165B20A35462W4VQ0PJN&pf_rd_t=1401&pf_rd_p=526142807&pf_rd_i=1000825283

SERENITY

Serenity

 

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.  It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control.  Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought-evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as he develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, he ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn from him and rely upon him.  The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.  Even the ordinary trader will find his business prosperity increase as he develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is equable.

The strong, calm man is always loved and revered.  He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm.  “Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life?  It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm.  That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul.  It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold—yea, than even fine gold.  How insignificant mere money-seeking looks in comparison with a serene life—a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of the tempests, in the Eternal Calm!”

“How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood!  It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control.  How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!”

Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt.  Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever you may be, under whatsoever conditions ye may live, know this—in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming.  Keep your hands firmly upon the helm of thought.  In the barque of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake Him. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power.  Say unto your heart, “Peace be still!”