Being Loving is a completely different thing

Many folks think that being Loving and being a pushover are the same thing.

But they aren’t. Being Loving doesn’t mean that you just let people walk all over you and be “nice” all the time – far from it. Being Loving means having boundaries, standing up for what you believe in and not letting people walk all over you.

There is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk. And it takes some time and some mistakes to understand the difference.

Being a Loving person doesn’t mean you are a wet noodle. It doesn’t mean you acquiesce to the demands of others. Love has many faces. Some of them are kindness, beauty, compassion and patience and sometimes the face of Love is bold, firm and brave. Every moment is different, but if you ask the question, “What would Love do now?” you’ll get the answer.

There are times when Love takes to the streets in protest. There are times when Love says, “this far and no further.” There are times when Love says, “I’m not going to let you treat me this way anymore.” And there are times when Love says, “Enough is enough!”

Many times we think that to be Loving means that we have to let other people walk all over us. And that’s just not true. I used to think that being Loving meant that I could never rock the boat. But I’ve come to understand that sometimes we HAVE to rock the boat in order to fulfill our purpose of being the Presence of Love on the planet.

Being Loving does not mean you are weak – au contraire! Being Loving means that you are STRONG! Strong in your conviction, strong in your compassion, strong in your vulnerability and strong in your forgiveness.

This is also not a hall pass to be a jerk! It’s actually a call to be strong – to stand up for what you believe in and to know that you are worthy of having the life that your heart desires. This is not at the expense of being mean to others, no, but it also is not at the expense of tolerating injustice and foul play.

We were sent to be the Presence of Love on the planet, with an open heart, with high standards and with infinite compassion. There is a balance between the stern and the soft, but know that far more than a wishbone, we simply just need a backbone!

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Risk Being You

If you could erase everything you know about yourself, who would you become?

Imagine for a moment that you could let go of everything that makes up your identity: all your fears and self-doubts, all your past mistakes and experiences, all your family and friends, even the shape of your body and face, and all those weird things youdon’t like about your name.

Forget about what you look like. Forget about how you normally interact with people. Forget about how people usually respond to you and how you respond and act around other people. Forget what you think. Forget what you feel. Forget all of it.

Now imagine for a moment that you can start from scratch. You can recreate yourself to become anyone you like, a person with whatever personality and whatever traitsyou desire. 

If you’ve always wanted to be comfortable around other people, pretend for a moment that you suddenly gain the ability to be extremely relaxed and easygoing. Your confidence goes through the roof and you have no fear of judgement. You make friends easily and you have fun talking to strangers. When someone smiles and says hello, you not only smile and say hello back but you go out of your way to initiate a conversation because you’re excited and intrigued about where it may lead and that alone feels worth more than being afraid.

If you’ve always wished you worried less and spent more time enjoying life and the company of those present, that you enjoyed doing things not because the timing was right but because they felt like the right thing to do, then pretend for a moment thatyou can suddenly embrace the joy of this moment with no doubt or hesitation, no questioning or analyzing, no reservation or delay.

If you’ve always wanted to speak your mind and be yourself no matter what others may think, pretend for a moment that in any given situation you will always say what’s on your mind. You willingly open doors and you leave room for others to judge youbecause you’re so confident in your own skin that it just doesn’t matter. You’d rather let others know you for you — no matter what they may think — rather than let them judge you for who you’re not.

If you’ve always wished that you didn’t play it safe all the time, then pretend for a moment that in this newly created life all the characters and props that come with it will be wiped away soon and everything will start anew; it doesn’t matter how risky the choice, how crazy the idea, or how absurd the potential outcome: they’re all worth a shot because this is your only opportunity anyway.

Now recognize that none of this needs to be pretend.

You can start from scratch. Others who know something about you may hold onto what they know and believe, but you can let it all go.

Initiating conversations and talking to people always leads to more interesting and fun experiences.

Enjoying the company of those present and living day-to-day with a focus on what makes you happy and what opportunities lie ahead is always safer than doubting, over-analyzing, and waiting for the right moment.

Speaking your mind, leaving room for others to judge you, and not fearing the outcome of being yourself is always better than pretending to be someone you’re not.

Taking chances on the things that feel right, exploring opportunities that could lead somewhere new, and believing in ideas that speak to you, is always worth any perceived risk; everything you know will turn to dust soon anyway.

Be the person you know you’re supposed to be and stop pretending there are justifiable reasons to do otherwise. There is nothing worth avoiding who you are because who you are is worth more than anything you could risk.