Shattered Dreams Have The Power To Change Our Lives For Good

“Everyone needs wishes and dreams, because the bridge you build between them and reality is your life.” – Marilyn Bagel

Many people are afraid to dream, either they simply don’t know how to, or more often because they are mired in only knowing how to color within their comfortable world-view box. So many of us are afraid to color outside our limited lines. Sometimes the fear of failure and imagined pain keeps an individual from reaching higher. So, many people don’t dare to dream!

Many walking wounded have walked through my psychotherapy doors in pain, hopeless, and hurt. Often, life has dealt them a harsh blow and their ache from something they wanted that went awry has resulted in a sense of helpless defeat. Then there are others who have reached too high without laying the necessary groundwork and planning the requisite steps to get where they want to go. They come bringing shattered dreams with little sense that a better outcome is possible.

One dream may die, only to be replaced with different dreams holding deeper appreciation and greater joy. The journey, though, is not without times of despair, eventually to be replaced with hope.

A less threatening and often more realistic way to follow your dream is something I call “The Three Bears Rule.” Finding the right balance between too little, too much, and one that is just right is a process that entails the ability to be both focused and flexible. Focus keeps your eye on the goal. Flexibility allows you to let in new potentially useful information, to try new ways of being, and to let go of emotional and pragmatic tools that simply don’t work. It also allows that magical “aha” moment when an idea suddenly takes a new shape and answers seem to appear from out of the blue. This is rarely an easy balance, and few are prepared for it without flips, flops, and failures along the way.

Those in creative fields tend to be our most imaginative and frequently leading-edge dreamers. They do dare where others fear to tread. The most productive of these dreamers are often born with and/or given the opportunity to create without being stifled. Not only do they have talent, but also they usually score high on a measurable scale with a quality known as Emotional Intelligence, what we loosely term intuition or a sixth sense. More pragmatic types such as scientists can also dream big. However, they tend to follow their dreams in a more logical, systematic, and goal-oriented fashion.

Whatever type or combination you may be, it’s always a mix of luck, timing, ability, and the discipline to practice as a great athlete, dancer or musician must to achieve one’s dream.

Ah, but, as Shakespeare might say, “There’s the rub.” Life is not linear and neither is the achievement of dreams. Anyone who has tried to dream beyond their current status knows they risk physical and emotional injuries. Frequently one feels like a small sailboat tossed by turbulent waves. Yes, we often get “seasick” when we follow our dreams. Shattered dreams happen every day in everyone’s real world. At the end I will list some ways to go beyond enduring pain, growing, and, in fact, learning to thrive.

A few exceptional people are akin to Cervantes’ Don Quixote or Voltaire’s Candide who live for their dreams and, a sin the latter’s case, are carried by an eternal optimism that whatever happens “this is the best of all possible worlds.” We humans embrace this sense of a hopeful dream. That’s why the varied, eternal productions of Man of La Mancha are sure to be available in a play, ballet, opera, or some other creative art form in a theater near you at several points in your life.

What is a shattered dream? It isn’t always not flying to the moon or not winning a Nobel Prize. In the world of the mundane, most of us fall short of expectations daily. Our positive attitude, how we “roll with the punches,” makes all the difference.

  1. Perhaps we didn’t get the “A” we anticipated.
  2. Or, we didn’t get selected to be on the baseball team we always dreamed of playing for.
  3. Or, the marriage we anticipated holding for “better or worse” forever didn’t last.
  4. Possibly we became a caregiver and gave up our own desires for someone we loved, as illness took over our life.
  5. Our child became a drug addict, not the star we raised her to be.

The list is endless. Yet, we can reframe our expectations and a cathartic change can occur. In that change we may find greater joy in small accomplishments or in a transformational love that we never dreamed possible.

Shattered dreams are never fun and always require time to heal and the ability to morph into what will be. In fact, many believe the very act of dreaming during sleep is one way we stay balanced and heal. Old dreams may die. New ones can always emerge. One only needs to believe they can succeed.

Dr. Dorree Lynn

Used by permission from Life’s Journey Magazine

Dr. Dorree Lynn is a well-respected psychotherapist, mentor, consultant, life coach, author, educator and workshop presenter. Her lectures are peppered with humor and salted with wisdom. She is available for presentations. Dr. Dorree can be contacted at: DrDorree.com

 

 

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DREAM KILLER

Human beings do it all the time. They think they are being smart.

They think they are doing the right thing.

They think they are being prudent, but at the end of the day, all they are doing is wasting time.

What is this dream-killing pattern?

Simple: needing to have a certain outcome before starting.

If you need to know how things will play out in the end before you start, you will never start. And if you do, it will not be full of power and creativity.

Time and time again I’ve seen friends & even I have been guilty of this at times – try to weigh options, figuring out what is the best path instead of trusting themselves, taking action and course correcting as they go.

There was an awesome quote from the famous Hollywood producer Kathleen Kennedy on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter once. She said, “I don’t analyze things, I just do them.”

Boom. I love this quote.

Now, if you are a doctor who is about to perform open heart surgery, this quote doesn’t apply. But when it comes to making your dreams come true, DELIBERATE and CONSISTENT ACTION is the cure-all.

Massive action is what it takes to make our dreams come true.

Notice I didn’t say, “Perfect massive action,” because perfection doesn’t exist.

Our goal is to learn and get better through the action that we take. When we sit back, analyze and try to create the best plan first, we waste precious time that we could be learning in the field.

I have mentors. I learn from others. I look ahead and plan. But most of the wisdom in my life has come from failure.

In fact, it’s safe to say that I have failed my way to success.

One of the most important questions you can ask yourself on the path to your dreams is this: “Am I willing to risk being nothing in order to become something?”

If you can be cool with being nothing, then and only then can you have the freedom to take the risks that are necessary to make your dreams come true.

There are no certain outcomes. You can’t get it wrong. The only thing that prevents your dreams from coming true is when you stop and try to analyze everything to death, while taking no action and living out everything in your head.

This is a dream killer.

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The darkest Moment is Before the Dawn

Push past the point at which you want to give up. The darkest moment is before the dawn. You cannot break through to a new life if you are not willing to fully commit to your outcome.

See all that happens as happening for your best interest. Once you have asked for something it shall be yours, and so will all the blocks that currently exist that are in the way of what you want. These blocks are not there to make you stop, but to make you stronger, wiser and better able to navigate the challenges of life.

Keep the desire burning strong within you to achieve your goal. Desire is the predecessor of manifestation. Then throw yourself into action. Throw yourself into your dream’s pursuit. The darkness will come… and it is at THAT moment that you will shine brightest – FROM WITHIN.

I feel lost, but It is normal.

I like any other human, feel lost & completely helpless at times and reach a point where I do not know what to do. At times there seems no hope for something and even dreaming about a certain thing seems useless. Every other human passes through this phase at least once I guess, maybe I am wrong.

I have passed through this phase a couple of times, and it has taught me a lot. I feel that loosing “hope” is not the answer , to a problem, last year in 2010 , I face tremendous problems, I had to make certain decisions which would affect my life drastically, and all my heart said that, this is one last lap, don’t give up.

Till the end of 2010, I faced issues which I cannot express , and then I came out of it , with dignity , and a lot more confidence to face the world.

Today I am happy that I acknowledge the fact that time & nature are the best teacher’s of mankind, and I am being acknowledged back, in its own way 🙂 .

Everything falls into place, its just that the “wait” makes you feel lost, patience is a virtue, and what comes in time, stays with you for long, so acknowledge the nature’s test, and face it with open arms. Be Brave, Be Positive !

Dont loose HOPE !

– Mustafa Mun

My Rolls Royce Quote

“Being Unsatisfied is natural, its asking the universe for what you want ! To dream and materialize your dreams , to instill the passion and burn the splinter of desire to achieve them. It is you and only your aim that can satisfy you.. You are a lot more than you think and can achieve much more than you can imagine , I aim to drive a Rolls Royce one day, let me start my journey to achieve that before I die. Impossible is nothing.”

– Mustafa Mun

An Illusion called Life

What is life? An illusion, a dream, a fiction, and the biggest well is small, because all life is a dream, and the dreams, themselves are only dreams. – Calderon de la Barca, 1600-1681, Spanish writer, Life is a Dream

Life as some argue is just an illusion , and a dream. A Conscience that drives the flame for the purpose to live. The presence of dream and illusion in our lives are a current theme in philosophical and literary thought. In its most radical presentation, this concept proclaims that men live immersed in dreams and illusion.

Man just can’t Live without an Illusion or a Dream of Hope. Some thinkers, mainly modern and contemporary, defend that man can’t dispense with illusion. It is part of human nature, and is a way of escaping from the difficult side of life, from the suffering and lack of meaning present in our deeper existence. Life demands the dream. Man can’t tolerate the inner side of reality.

Dreams are a part of our Reality . The dreams and our imagination give meaning to life, though most of the times dreams are just what they are: just dreams.

Rees, Royal Society professor of astronomy at Cambridge University, will say that it is now possible to conceive of computers so powerful that they could build an entire virtual universe.

The possibility that what we see around us may not actually exist has been raised by philosophers many times dating back to the ancient Greeks and appears repeatedly in science fiction.

However, many scientists have always been dismissive, saying the universe was far too complex and consistent to be a simulation.

Despite this, the idea has persisted, popularised in films such as Tom Cruise’s Vanilla Sky and The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves.

It was also the basis for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, written by Adams, who died in 2001. In the book, Deep Thought creates the Earth and its human inhabitants as a giant calculating device to answer the “ultimate question”.

The BBC’s rerun of the radio version of Hitchhiker finished recently, just as Rees was putting together his contribution to the debate in which he will concede that the depictions by Adams, Cruise and Reeves might have been right after all.

In a television documentary, What We Still Don’t Know, to be screened on Channel 4 next month, he will say: “Over a few decades, computers have evolved from being able to simulate only very simple patterns to being able to create virtual worlds with a lot of detail.

“If that trend were to continue, then we can imagine computers which will be able to simulate worlds perhaps even as complicated as the one we think we’re living in.

“This raises the philosophical question: could we ourselves be in such a simulation and could what we think is the universe be some sort of vault of heaven rather than the real thing. In a sense we could be ourselves the creations within this simulation.”

Rees will emphasise that this is just a theory. But it is being increasingly discussed by other eminent physicists and cosmologists.

Among them is John Barrow, professor of mathematical sciences at Cambridge University. He points out that the universe has a degree of fine tuning that makes it safe for living organisms.

Even a tiny alteration in a fundamental force or a constant such as gravity would make stars burn out, atoms fly apart, and the world as we know it become impossible. Such fine tuning, he has said, could be taken as evidence for some kind of intelligent designer being at work.

“Civilisations only a little more advanced than ourselves will have the capability to simulate universes in which self-conscious entities can emerge and communicate with one another,” he said.

The idea that life, the universe and everything in it could be an illusion dates back more than 2,000 years. Chuang Tzu, the Chinese philosopher, who died in 295BC, wondered whether his entire life might be no more than a dream.

René Descartes, the 17th century French philosopher, raised similar questions. But he famously came down in favour of existence, saying: “I think, therefore I am.”

The idea was resurrected last century, notably by Bertrand Russell, who suggested that humans could simply be “brains in a jar” being stimulated by chemicals or electrical currents — an idea that was quickly taken up and developed by science fiction writers such as Isaac Asimov.

However, some academics pour cold water on the notion of a machine-created universe. Seth Lloyd, professor of quantum mechanical engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said such a computer would have to be unimaginably large.

All in all, one can never conclude weather we are dreaming or living the real life, it is for you to decide weather to interpret this reality  the way you want.


Money Comes… Money Goes

Many of us like to hold on to things, emotions, past, feelings, people , clothes, books or anything that is close to you , maybe even a Teddy .. For a lot this thing is money, and they cling on to it really strong, promising themselves that it is a huge pillar of their lives.

I agree that money is the main factor of everything, it is energy, which drives everything around us. No money = Not So much of possibilities. In today’s world if you have no money you are going to face tough times.

But there are people who earn enough to clear off their debts or their loans, yet they are sad of not having enough. Some crib about not having enough to shop. Some cry about their salary. Some about not having good food.

Nobody is ever satisfied. That’s true , look around you , people do not just cry about not having enough money but also about other things which may look really stupid. Things which are too petty enough to be blown out of proportion.

A few may sit down and say , “Alright that’s it I am happy with my life what it has given me and now I shall have a happy end.” Well that may sound poetic, and less than 5% of the population of the world reach that state of mind , even after getting retired.

Money as what many see is a need for their daily living, Fair enough, not blaming this segment of people. The rest who think it is not enough to buy a new house or a new car or a new jacket , blah blah blah.. hmm, for them I would advice, please do not get carried away too much with materialistic items in this world. Well that’s just impossible to do and something what I would never achieve even if somebody told me “impossible is nothing” .

From all what I have experienced , I personally feel , us humans , are never satisfied, not even the most pious of us lot. Even the Religious leader of one community would want all people from Religion X to Convert to Religion Y or vice versa. Even they are not satisfied.!

People like to get what they want, and nobody can change that. The debate about having enough , can never end , all we can do is try to be more simple in our lives, by keeping our wants limited as much as we possibly can. This thought itself seems nearly impossible but not completely.

There are some really simple people in this world who do not care about anything too materialistic and live the life to the basic as much as possible.

Imagine if every consumer would be like them… 🙂 , Companies would be in recession all the time .. hahaha!

Give More …. Expect None!

😀