Shattered Dreams Have The Power To Change Our Lives For Good

“Everyone needs wishes and dreams, because the bridge you build between them and reality is your life.” – Marilyn Bagel

Many people are afraid to dream, either they simply don’t know how to, or more often because they are mired in only knowing how to color within their comfortable world-view box. So many of us are afraid to color outside our limited lines. Sometimes the fear of failure and imagined pain keeps an individual from reaching higher. So, many people don’t dare to dream!

Many walking wounded have walked through my psychotherapy doors in pain, hopeless, and hurt. Often, life has dealt them a harsh blow and their ache from something they wanted that went awry has resulted in a sense of helpless defeat. Then there are others who have reached too high without laying the necessary groundwork and planning the requisite steps to get where they want to go. They come bringing shattered dreams with little sense that a better outcome is possible.

One dream may die, only to be replaced with different dreams holding deeper appreciation and greater joy. The journey, though, is not without times of despair, eventually to be replaced with hope.

A less threatening and often more realistic way to follow your dream is something I call “The Three Bears Rule.” Finding the right balance between too little, too much, and one that is just right is a process that entails the ability to be both focused and flexible. Focus keeps your eye on the goal. Flexibility allows you to let in new potentially useful information, to try new ways of being, and to let go of emotional and pragmatic tools that simply don’t work. It also allows that magical “aha” moment when an idea suddenly takes a new shape and answers seem to appear from out of the blue. This is rarely an easy balance, and few are prepared for it without flips, flops, and failures along the way.

Those in creative fields tend to be our most imaginative and frequently leading-edge dreamers. They do dare where others fear to tread. The most productive of these dreamers are often born with and/or given the opportunity to create without being stifled. Not only do they have talent, but also they usually score high on a measurable scale with a quality known as Emotional Intelligence, what we loosely term intuition or a sixth sense. More pragmatic types such as scientists can also dream big. However, they tend to follow their dreams in a more logical, systematic, and goal-oriented fashion.

Whatever type or combination you may be, it’s always a mix of luck, timing, ability, and the discipline to practice as a great athlete, dancer or musician must to achieve one’s dream.

Ah, but, as Shakespeare might say, “There’s the rub.” Life is not linear and neither is the achievement of dreams. Anyone who has tried to dream beyond their current status knows they risk physical and emotional injuries. Frequently one feels like a small sailboat tossed by turbulent waves. Yes, we often get “seasick” when we follow our dreams. Shattered dreams happen every day in everyone’s real world. At the end I will list some ways to go beyond enduring pain, growing, and, in fact, learning to thrive.

A few exceptional people are akin to Cervantes’ Don Quixote or Voltaire’s Candide who live for their dreams and, a sin the latter’s case, are carried by an eternal optimism that whatever happens “this is the best of all possible worlds.” We humans embrace this sense of a hopeful dream. That’s why the varied, eternal productions of Man of La Mancha are sure to be available in a play, ballet, opera, or some other creative art form in a theater near you at several points in your life.

What is a shattered dream? It isn’t always not flying to the moon or not winning a Nobel Prize. In the world of the mundane, most of us fall short of expectations daily. Our positive attitude, how we “roll with the punches,” makes all the difference.

  1. Perhaps we didn’t get the “A” we anticipated.
  2. Or, we didn’t get selected to be on the baseball team we always dreamed of playing for.
  3. Or, the marriage we anticipated holding for “better or worse” forever didn’t last.
  4. Possibly we became a caregiver and gave up our own desires for someone we loved, as illness took over our life.
  5. Our child became a drug addict, not the star we raised her to be.

The list is endless. Yet, we can reframe our expectations and a cathartic change can occur. In that change we may find greater joy in small accomplishments or in a transformational love that we never dreamed possible.

Shattered dreams are never fun and always require time to heal and the ability to morph into what will be. In fact, many believe the very act of dreaming during sleep is one way we stay balanced and heal. Old dreams may die. New ones can always emerge. One only needs to believe they can succeed.

Dr. Dorree Lynn

Used by permission from Life’s Journey Magazine

Dr. Dorree Lynn is a well-respected psychotherapist, mentor, consultant, life coach, author, educator and workshop presenter. Her lectures are peppered with humor and salted with wisdom. She is available for presentations. Dr. Dorree can be contacted at: DrDorree.com

 

 

dream-memory

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Choose your dreams

Any choice you make is a turn your life takes in one direction or another. Getting where you want to go is a matter of making each and every choice with that in mind.

Letting go of a negative, destructive habit happens by making one positive, empowering choice at a time. Creating a desired achievement comes about in the same way, one intentional, effective choice at a time.

Every choice matters, and every choice either changes or reaffirms a particular direction. That is what gives you great control over the way your life unfolds.

If it is opportunity you seek, stop looking for it and start paying more attention to the choices you make. Every one of them is a real, practical and influential opportunity for you to move toward your most desired outcomes.

In every minute, in any situation, you can continue bringing your most treasured dreams to life through the choices you make. As time moves forward, great and meaningful value arises from choices intentionally made in a consistent direction.

In matters large, small, and in between, there are always choices to be made. Make the choice, each chance you get, to choose your dreams.

— Ralph Marston

Are We lab-rats?

 

Are you a dreamer? Do you frequently find yourself gazing off into the distance getting lost in a world of “What If”?

Back to work. You can’t daydream forever.

But what if you could? What if you had the freedom to daydream when you felt like daydreaming? To work when you felt like working?

Humans aren’t supposed to spend their days in office buildings. We’re not supposed to spend large amounts of time moving ourselves from one place to another in giant hunks of metal while our bodies slowly deteriorate and our relationships slowly fade.

We’re not supposed to spend gargantuan amounts of time plopped down in front of electronic devices moving our fingers and eyelids, absorbing radiation, and spending more waking time in the virtual world than in the real one.

We not supposed to arrive at home and focus our attention on a box that has been pre-programmed to brainwash us while simultaneously allowing our bodies to atrophy.

We’re not supposed to spend most of our life communicating with our loved ones using a digital representation of their voices. “Raam to the Enterprise, I love you mom!”

Damn it Jim, we’re not digital lab rats! We’re humans!

We’re meant to be free!

We’re meant to move. To run. To breathe. We’re meant to interact. To communicate. To laugh. To smile. To learn.

We’re meant to live in the real world.

We’re meant to follow our desires; our passions; our dreams. We’re meant to coexist with nature and to nurture a sustainable, symbiotic relationship with it.

We’re meant to eat when we’re hungry and to sleep when we’re tired. We’re meant to have fun when we’re feeling playful and to daydream when we’re feeling dreamy.

We’re meant to work like humans, not like ants. We’re meant to be more than an address book entry, a Twitter username, or an Avatar on the screen. We’re meant to be creative. To explore. To think. We’re meant to dream. To have ideas. To create. To be unique.

We’re meant to be friendly. To give. To share. We’re meant to be kind. To help. To heal. We’re meant to care and to love.

We’re meant to feel the wind against our skin, smell the earth under our feet, and be inspired by the life and the natural beauty around us.

When was the last time you felt the earth under your bare feet? When did you last have fresh dirt underneath your nails?

Go! Experience the real world. Reconnect with your body. Develop a healthy relationship with Mother Nature. Listen. Breathe. See. Touch. Smell. Taste. Use your senses.

Walk barefoot. Use your legs, if you’re lucky enough to have them. Feel the individual muscles move. Use your voice. Move your eyes.

Embrace who you are. Find the courage to be yourself.

If you’re a talker, connect. If you’re a musician, create. If you’re a writer, share. If you’re an artist, do art. If you’re a builder, build. If you’re a healer, heal. If you’re a teacher, teach. If you’re an explorer, explore. If you’re a dreamer, dream.

You’re not who society tells you to be. You don’t have to be. You shouldn’t be! Break free of any self-imposed limitations and experience life to its fullest. Break new ground. Get out of the rut. Explore. Try something new.

If you find yourself daydreaming, then let yourself dream. If you find yourself in a position you don’t fully enjoy, or one that holds you back from experiencing life to its fullest, then make those tough decisions and change your life.

If you don’t wake up every single day and look forward to what’s ahead, then something isn’t right. You’re not living.

But you can change it!

You already have the freedom inside you. Living free is a conscious decision.

Make it!

But What If really are Lab-rats? What If there is someone controlling our every thought as we speak, as we type , as we move and so on.. What if there exists multiple dynamics of parallel universe? What if there are billions of Earths scattered in different time dimensions? What if in Earth A you are what you are and in Earth B you are someone you want to be , in Earth C you are an old man/woman and so on and so forth.

What if everything we know , is just another STORY! …???  Probably we are just bunch lab-rats of this whole Blunder Experiment called Universe. !!

 

Money Comes… Money Goes

Many of us like to hold on to things, emotions, past, feelings, people , clothes, books or anything that is close to you , maybe even a Teddy .. For a lot this thing is money, and they cling on to it really strong, promising themselves that it is a huge pillar of their lives.

I agree that money is the main factor of everything, it is energy, which drives everything around us. No money = Not So much of possibilities. In today’s world if you have no money you are going to face tough times.

But there are people who earn enough to clear off their debts or their loans, yet they are sad of not having enough. Some crib about not having enough to shop. Some cry about their salary. Some about not having good food.

Nobody is ever satisfied. That’s true , look around you , people do not just cry about not having enough money but also about other things which may look really stupid. Things which are too petty enough to be blown out of proportion.

A few may sit down and say , “Alright that’s it I am happy with my life what it has given me and now I shall have a happy end.” Well that may sound poetic, and less than 5% of the population of the world reach that state of mind , even after getting retired.

Money as what many see is a need for their daily living, Fair enough, not blaming this segment of people. The rest who think it is not enough to buy a new house or a new car or a new jacket , blah blah blah.. hmm, for them I would advice, please do not get carried away too much with materialistic items in this world. Well that’s just impossible to do and something what I would never achieve even if somebody told me “impossible is nothing” .

From all what I have experienced , I personally feel , us humans , are never satisfied, not even the most pious of us lot. Even the Religious leader of one community would want all people from Religion X to Convert to Religion Y or vice versa. Even they are not satisfied.!

People like to get what they want, and nobody can change that. The debate about having enough , can never end , all we can do is try to be more simple in our lives, by keeping our wants limited as much as we possibly can. This thought itself seems nearly impossible but not completely.

There are some really simple people in this world who do not care about anything too materialistic and live the life to the basic as much as possible.

Imagine if every consumer would be like them… 🙂 , Companies would be in recession all the time .. hahaha!

Give More …. Expect None!

😀

Brighton Trip

Today I went to brighton with a few friends, it is an amazing place , breezy and the beach is a nice place to relax and be with friends or family, brighton is a stony beach, so you cannot play most of the normal sand games which usually people do. I do not understand the reason why it has got an award for?

But overall it is a nice place for a weekend as there are a lot of sea surfing activities to do , if love doing it and also a few attraction around brighton which may interest you.

We all had a great time there and I hope to see brighton once again.

Brighton Beach

Brighton Beach

4 months 3 weeks and 2 days

The film follows the story of Otilia Mihartescu (Anamaria Marinca) and Gabriela ‘Găbiţa’ Dragut (Laura Vasiliu), two university friends in an unnamed Romanian town. The film is set in 1987,[3] one of the last years of the Ceauşescu regime. When Găbiţa becomes pregnant, the two girls arrange a meeting with Mr. Bebe (Vlad Ivanov) in a hotel, where he is to perform an illegal abortion (Communist Romania had a natalist policy against abortion).

At a college dorm Gabriela and Otilia go over the items they need for the following day, and as Gabriela nervously sits and waits in the room, Otilia barters and buys soap, cigarettes, etc. from school friends. Afterwards, Otilia takes a bus to visit her boyfriend Adi, from whom she borrows money. Adi asks Otilia to visit his family that night, as it is his mother’s birthday, and to buy flowers on the way, to which Otilia initially declines, but she relents after Adi becomes visibly upset.

Otilia heads to a hotel where Gabriela has booked a room, only to be informed by an unfriendly receptionist that there is no reservation under Gabriela’s last name. Otilia goes to another hotel, and after much begging and haggling is able to book a room at an expensive rate. Afterwards Otilia goes to a rendezvous point to meet with Mr. Bebe, although he had been told by Gabriela that Otilia was her sister, and Mr. Bebe grows angry upon hearing that Gabriela is not at the planned hotel, and that he has to leave his ID at the front desk, fearing that the arrangement might be a police trap.

Mr. Bebe discovers that Gabriela’s claim that her pregnancy was in its third month is a lie; in fact, it has been at least four months. Mr. Bebe ask for more money since a late term abortion is a much greater offense punishable with 10 years in jail. In order to help her friend, Otilia reluctantly has sex (and eventually Gabriela does as well) with Mr. Bebe so that he will not walk out on them. Mr. Bebe then performs the abortion by injecting a probe and some fluids into Gabriela, and leaves Otilia instructions on how to dispose of the fetus when it comes out. Otilia is visibly exasperated by Gabriela’s lies, yet continues to help her and care for her.

Otilia leaves Gabriela at the hotel to go to Adi’s mother’s birthday. She’s still visibly disturbed but stays and has dinner with Adi’s mother’s friends, who are mostly doctors. They all talk about trivial things while Otilia and Adi remain silent. The phone rings in the background, but no one answers it. One of the guests then starts talking about lost values and respect to elders when Otilia accepts a cigarette offered to her in front of Adi’s parents, which prompts Adi to bring the champagne in order to get the party over with. Adi and Otilia then go to his room where Otilia tells him about Gabriela’s abortion, and they start talking about what would happen if it was Otilia that was pregnant since Adi seems to be against abortions. After fighting with Adi, Otilia calls Gabriela from Adi’s house. Gabriela does not answer, so Otilia decides to go back to the hotel.

When Otilia enters the room Gabriela is lying on the bed, and she tells Otilia that the fetus has come out and is in the bathroom. Otilia then wraps the fetus with some towels and puts everything in a bag, while Gabriela asks her to bury the fetus. Otilia then goes outside and walks around for a while, finally climbing to the top of a random building, as Mr. Bebe had suggested, and dropping the bag in a trash chute.

Otilia then goes back to the hotel and finds Gabriela eating at the restaurant. She sits and tells Gabriela that they are never going to talk about the whole thing ever again.

Primrose Hill & Bricklane

Well like any other day after class of LSE summer school, it was an adventure again, we met at Primrose today , its an awsomme place. You can view a pic below..

primrose hill

primrose hill

This place was ideal for having a nice time with firends sharing jokes and just chillling around, most of us knew that we won’t be seeing each other for a long long time, after today. Fernando will leave tomorrow for Guatamela and so will Gizem for Turkey,& Manuel (a.k.a- manly/MAN-LEE) for Philippines,  the rest will leave in a few days time to their home countries.

Brick Lane was soon followed after Camden Town, while we shared  a nice time with bijan at some random pub and then hopping over to Brick Lane in a bus, well it was quite a long way all the way to Liverpool street from Camden Town yet it was fun. the best part was ,me getting angry at the promoter who wanted to prove that , the particular indian restraunt was the best but infact it wasn’t as when I went in to check , the food was rubbbish and not upto the standards of a proper indian cuisine. We then went to chillies which was after a few restraunts but was an amazing place , mirza and the rest enjoyed the food, but myself and oktay did not eat anything as we both had a snack earlier and were quite full.

After which we then walked into some random unknown club in a random street in Brick Lane which played some really wierd Lounge Electronic Music the same beat over and over again for the  past 2 hours and then I just walked out as we couldn’t breathe in, yeah the entry was for free though 😉

I just reached home now and look back at the start of my day with me being late to exam by a few minutes but successfully completed my paper.I feel that every day is special in its own way, its just how you go with the flow and how one percieves it to be.

Have a Great Day 😀